University Graduates

My parents want me to marry a university graduate but my fiancee is not. What do I do?

I am a university graduate myself. I don't know of any research result that connects marriage success with level of education. Perhaps, could it be because of financial security? What should I do cos I don't want to end the relationship wrongly?

Public Comments

1. YOU SHOULD MARRY SOMEONE BEACUSE YOU LOVE THEM NOT BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS WANT YOU TO. WE NEED TO RESPECT OUR PARENTS BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOT THEIRS. YOU SHOULD DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS THE RIGHT THING. IF YOU REALLY LOVE YOUR FIANCE MAKE IT WORK AND BE HONEST WITH YOUR PARENTS. REMIND THEM THAT THEY SHOULD WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND THE LEVEL OF EDUCATION A PERSON HAS ISN'T ALL THAT IMPORTANT. I FIND COMMON SENSE IS ! FOLLOW YOUR HEART!
2. your parents are talkign abtou ideals. you shoudl make your own decision. if you and your partner is happy together, then it doesnt matetr. because diplome is sometimes just an etiquette, and some people who doenst have diplome can be very open minded and very well educated with their own efforts. if you end your reliaotnship just becuase of that, then you never loved her, you dont give any change to your relaitonship just because she coudlnt go to university. why dont you relaize that you will build up your own famiyl with common rules with her ? i mean your parents wont be giving you advises all the time you shoudl make your own decision. they are talkign abotu ideals, but there are alwyas execeptions. would you be happy with a million dollar princess whom you arent happy with ? you talk abtou financial security.. what if you lose your home at a fire or an earthquake or you pass an accident and become disabled ? a university graduate can pass an accident as well. you can pass an accident too. a unviersity graduate might catch illnes too. a university graduate might cheat on you too. anythign can happen anytime, there is no security int he world. what the couples do is that to support eachother and look for common solutions to their problems. love is ntohign about financial security. it is abotu mature emotions and willing to company eachother both good and bad days. you cant get a diplome of those things.
3. You should marry someone because they fit some critera that your parents have for your future wife/husband. You should marry because you love one another and want to speand the rest of your lives together, through the good and the bad.... If you truelly love your fiancee then dont break the relationship off. Your parents choose each other themselves so you should be able to choose who you marry. Im guessing its probly the financial security that your parents are worried about. But ultimately money will forever come and go but TRUE love will last an eternity Wishing you the best of luck...
4. Why are you listening to your parents,they don't control you, make your own choices and decisions on how you live your life.Happiness is the only thing that matters and no amount of money can but it,you already know whats best,go with your instincts.
5. There can be problems if there is too much disparity in level of education, but more often the problems will come about from a disparity in how smart you are. You can be very much in love, but it can be harder to connect if they just don't think at your level. I know someone who was trying very hard to make her marriage last but it just didn't work out because he wasn't able to think at her level. However it's not an education thing. As for what you do: if you're sure that it's not going to be a problem then explain your choice to your parents and request that they honour it. Not a lot more you can do.
6. here's a revelation for you...parents are not always right, it's a hard choice between love and money.
7. I don't think it's a money issue. I think it's more of a concern regarding how much you'll have in common. Since you are a grad student how much would you have in common with someone who barely graduated from high school? What intellectual pursuits would bond you? Sure there might be some spark and some steam, but how much of that endures? I think it's best to be with someone whom you share common bonds and experiences.
8. Marry who you want to marry. I'm not saying your parents shouldn't have an opinion on who you spend the rest of your life with, but money isn't everything. You could have all the money in the world and be unhappy. Love is real...you can't buy it.
9. You NEED to marry a college grad - there is no way around that. Marriage isn't about love.
10. It can seem difficult, even impossible, to bind oneself for life to another human being. Marriage is designed to be based on love, not monetary gain. You will not be truly happy unless you feel the zeal of love. Zeal - (From delos, a derivative of deo "to boil", to "throb with heat"), is "a necessary effect of love", being "the vehement movement of one who loves to [secure] the object of his love" (vehemens motus amantis in rem amatam, St. Thomas, Summa Theol. I-II:28:4). Here the distinctive note is in the vehemence, or intensity, of the action to which love impels, an intensity, which is proportioned to that of the love felt. Conjugal love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter - appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving. The love of the spouses requires, of its very nature, the unity and indissolubility of the spouses' community of persons, which embraces their entire life: "so they are no longer two, but one flesh." They "are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving." Marriage is based on the consent of the contracting parties, that is, on their will to give themselves, each to the other, mutually and definitively, in order to live a covenant of faithful and fruitful love. It demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another. Base your happiness on love not money. God bless, ~Nina
11. Well you don't have to marry someone because they are a University grad but he must be someone with ambition. Someone who is will to work hard and work with you financially. That's it! Having a college degree doesn't even guarantee financial sucess. Have you seen Dr. Phil lately......the episode where the University grad (man) who is a major gambler!
12. You marry someone b/c you love them and want to spend the rest of your life with them. Don't marry someone just because your parents want you with that person, or only because they are a graduate. That would be silly. So if you love your fiancee and want to spend the rest of your life with her, who cares if she is a university Graduate or not. IT SHOULD NOT MATTER!
13. HELLO!!!! You are the one that will marry whomever, not your parents. Although they may have your best interest at heart, this isn't their relationship & life, its yours. Politely tell your parents this is your decision & your life, not theirs. If you are not serious enough, mature enough & passionate about your relationship with your fiancee to stand up to your parents then you are not ready for any marriage or fiancee.
14. You are a university graduate but still letting your parents dictate your life? I would say don't consider marrying anybody until you can be a grown up. Do you feel validated by being a snob as much as your parents? Does that comment annoy you? Then look a little more closely at their comments before you make your decision.